Miscommunications

As my mom said in her epic update, I am working in Suwon South Korea as a middle school english teacher. My transition has been mostly smooth, but there have been a few moments when I found myself wondering “just what the hell have I gotten myself into?”
If any of you have ever spoken with an Asian who learned English as a second language then you will know that they have a difficult time pronouncing certain letters; most prominently S, F, P, R, and L. The following is a conversation I had with one of my Korean co-workers just last week. His English is a bit...interesting.

The scene: I am approaching the entrance to my school, which is located on floors 4-7 in a nine story office building, when I come across Atom, one of the school’s employees, is wearing slacks, a blue dress shirt, and for unknown reasons a flamboyant sash across his chest.

Me: Hi there Atom. What are you up to?

Atom: I am f***ing.

Me: (Having stopped walking, stunned) I’m sorry I didn’t hear you right, what are you doing?

Atom: (More slowly, so that I could better understand him) I...am...f***ing...right over there. (He points around the corner)

Now I will be the first to admit that I don’t quite have a firm grasp on Korean culture quite yet but I just could not believe that Atom had just finished copulating around that corner...

Me: Who were you f***ing?

Atom: The parents of the students. I am f***ing them. Helping them f**k.

Me: (dumbfounded) You were f***ing multiple people...just now?

Atom: Yes. There is more f***ing in basement and in back.

Me: (warily) So have you been doing this for while now?

Atom: Yes. I have f***ing all morning. F***ing this car, that car, all car. Always car.

Me: (Realizing what the hell he has been talking about) You mean you have been PARKING cars all morning? Helping the parents park their cars?

Atom: Yes. I am f***ing. Must go. More parents need more f***ing.


This is my life in Korea.